Her Secrets of the Heart
by inugirl13
Summary: Sesshoumaru and Kagome are happy and settled into the life of Lord and Lady of the Western Lands, with two beautiful children, Seiya and Sari. Seiya is an open and out-going son, everything he is expected to be, but Sari is very withdrawn... And hiding many secrets... Will Sesshoumaru and Kagome be able to open Sari's heart and accept what they have yet to discover about her?


**A/N: Howdy! For anyone who has already read some of my work, this may have a lot of similarities to another story of mine, Kagome's Family Secret! That's because I wasn't fully happy with the way that story turned out, so I'm hoping to re-invent some of the concepts I was proud of in this story! So read, enjoy, and tell me what you think :3**

**Also! the cover drawing to this was done by an AMAZING ARTIST! Youkaiyume! Check her out because she's my favorite artist of all time! Just wonderful!**

**DISCLAIMER!: I don't own anything but my pride... which I'm willing to bargain for money or McDonald's gift cards .**

* * *

Kagome looked up at the sky as a pair of gray colored birds weaved through the air and around each other in play. The air was fresh, the sun was shining, and she was enjoying some much needed quality time with her family... Even though that involved sitting with her very reserved daughter, Sari, and watching a sparring match between her husband Sesshoumaru and their son, Seiya. However, anytime with family should be cherished in her mind, so she looked back to her daughter with a smile as she sat gracefully with a cup of tea in hand, carefully studying the fight in front of them.

It never ceased to amaze her how beautiful both of her children were. Sari was 19 years old, the same age as Kagome was when she met Sesshoumaru many years before, and looked very much like her father. She had long, silver hair, pulled back into a conservative braid with a red ribbon. Her facial markings matched Sesshoumaru's exactly, as did the color of her right eye. Her left matched her mother's hazel eyes in shade, but the shape was indisputably Kagome's. Although she was on the short side, even shorter than Kagome, she was as gracefully formed as Sesshoumaru and looked regal in her light blue robes. She almost always wore a sash in the same fashion as her father as well. It made Kagome very proud to note that her daughter carried herself with a proper royal attitude without being arrogant. She only wished that she would loosen up more sometimes. It wasn't good for her to keep everything inside the way she did. Sari was very hard on herself for being a half demon for reasons Kagome could not understand.

Sipping her tea once more, Kagome looked over and watched Sesshoumaru throw his poison whip toward Seiya in an attempt to make him dodge. She knew that because of their shared blood the poison would hold no lasting effects. The only pain would be the whip hitting his flesh, a minor wound to a full fledged demon. It still made her wince as a mother to watch her child being hurt, even as the rational side of her knew there was no point in worrying over what was no worse than scraping a knee on the ground.

As Seiya moved and twisted around the poison whip, Kagome watched his hair flying behind him and all around him. Unlike his younger sister, Seiya had short black hair with a long, silver ponytail in the back. His eyes were hazel and his markings, a single stripe on each side of the face and the crescent on his forehead, matched the color of his father's. He wore purple robes with a red sash, and used only hand and arm guards rather than chest armor that his father wore. He was very agile and did not like to be weighed down whenever possible.

"Go Seiya-kun!" Kagome cheered with a smile. Sari glanced at her mother briefly before returning her eyes to the fight quick enough to see Seiya grin at their mother.

Sesshoumaru used Kagome's distraction to his advantage and whipped Seiya across the arm lightly. Seiya yelped in surprise and growled at him. He then threw his arm up and sprayed his father with poison needles. Sesshoumaru's aura reflected the spray in an automatic defensive maneuver. What he hadn't realized was that the spray of needles reflected right at Kagome and Sari until he felt Seiya dashing behind him.

Kagome jerked in surprise at Seiya's speed while Sari continued to sip her tea calmly, as if nothing had happened. Sesshoumaru quickly stepped over to the blanket they were on to check and see if his mate and child were truly alright.

"Mother, Sari-chan, are you both unharmed?" Seiya asked, kneeling next to them. Sari nodded and Kagome brushed her hand over his head while reassuring him.

"Sari," Sesshoumaru began as he approached. "I believe it is time to go inside for your lessons with Jaken. Send a servant out to clean up this blanket."

"Yes, Papa," she said and bowed to him, than her mother and brother before standing up and leaving. Sesshoumaru watched her for a moment while Seiya helped Kagome to stand up.

"Seiya-kun, how is your arm?" Sesshoumaru turned his head back to Kagome and Seiya at the question.

"Fine, Mother. If I may be excused I'd like to change before my studies," he said with a smile for her.

"You need to be careful not to be distracted, Seiya. It could cost you your life in battle." Seiya nodded. "You have improved in speed once more, but your aim must improve with your speed as well. Now go and ready yourself for your studies."

"Yes, Father. By the way," he said with a grin, "I think I could have had you if Mother hadn't distracted me." Sesshoumaru smirked at him while he headed back into the castle.

Kagome laughed and walked up to put her arm around Sesshoumaru while her son hurried to catch up with Sari. It was funny to look at her 25 year old son and not feel anywhere near as old as she should. Thanks to the mating process, she was frozen in time with Sesshoumaru, not to age until he did as well.

"He's getting better, my love," she said and looked up at him. "Maybe Sari should start training with you two?" Sesshoumaru shook his head.

"She knows enough to defend herself as much as she'll need to. When she is mated it will be up to him whether or not she should continue learning or not. For now, Sari must concentrate on becoming a lady so she may attract a good mate for herself. Come now," he said before she could begin to argue with his again. She sighed and took his arm as they followed their children back into their home from the courtyard.

* * *

Sari hurried to her lessons and sat down with Jaken to review all of the important information about demon customs. Sesshoumaru had decided that she would have a coming out party, so to speak, giving her a chance to meet many different young demons for her to try and select a mate from. The event was to be held in less than a month and she did not wish to embarrass her family by doing anything improper or disrespectful.

"Are you listening to me, you little wretch?" Jaken yelled at her. She simply nodded, used to Jaken throwing tantrums at her. He was her father's errand boy of the castle and it was well known that while he would do anything for Sesshoumaru to keep him happy, Jaken did not like humans or half breeds anymore than Sesshoumaru did himself.

"You lie, you disgusting half-breed! I don't understand why Lord Sesshoumaru wants me to waste my time on a creature such as you." Jaken huffed and turned his head to the side, watching Sari from the corner of his eye. "You can act like a Lady of the castle all you want, you still will never find a demon with tastes low enough to choose you with. After all, what kind of demon wants anything to do with a human?"

"My father did, if you care to remember, Jaken." Jaken stuttered, upset with himself for being caught downing one of his lord's choices. He turned that anger back on Sari.

"That was only because your mother is a strong priestess! She is worthy of being around Lord Sesshoumaru due to her great strength! What do you have that's of any value to MiLord? Nothing! Ahahaha!" he began to laugh at the blank look on her face, assuming his words had upset her. He jumped when she suddenly stood up and began to walk out of the lesson.

"Where are you going, half-breed?!" he yelled and began to run to get ahead of her.

Sari didn't bother to answer him and continued on her way, ignoring his threats to use his two-headed staff on her. He could abuse her verbally all he wanted to, but should he lay a hand on her head Seiya would beat him down and they both knew it. She just wanted to get away from everything for a while. After a turn down a few hallways, Sari shoved Jaken into a small supply closet and hurried away before he could recover.

Without stopping to talk to anyone, Sari hurried to the stables at the south end of the castle and hurried over to the stall of her only nearby friends, Ah and Un, a two headed dragon creature that her father used as a stead going into battle on some occasions.

As she reached them they began to snort and wiggle their heads around in anticipation of her attention. She gave them a small smile and opened the pen they were in.

"Hey there, friends. Has Kazuki-san been taking good care of you?" they bother nodded and nuzzled themselves into her hands. "Good. At least someone around here knows how to treat others." She sighed and pet them both vigorously as they begged for her comfort.

A few minutes later, just as she was getting Ah and Un back in the pen, she heard the door open. She didn't bother to turn, expecting Kazuki, the stable manager, to be returning from getting Ah and Un some food and water.

"How are you feeling today, Kazuki-" she stopped as she turned and saw Seiya.

"Hey, Sari-chan. Hanging out with Ah and Un again?" he said, keeping his distance from the pen. He knew that for whatever reason, Ah and Un did not like him very much.

"I just came by to say hello after I was done with my studies. What are you doing done so early?" She returned her attention to the dragon while she listened.

"I was looking for you. Why didn't you take the chance today to show Father your abilities? You could have dispersed those poison needles in a split second-"

"It wasn't my place to do so, especially where Mama was not in danger. I am a female, half-miko-demon. I will never be able to make Papa recognize me for whatever talents I may or may not possess."

"How will you know if you don't try?" he waited a moment, but Sari said nothing. He sighed and decided to try something else, knowing there had to be something to break down the wall between Sari and their parents. "Have you told Mother or Father about your right eye?"

"If I told them about me being blind in one eye Mama would pity me and Papa would see less worth in me than he does now."

"Sari-" she turned around and walked toward him, gently placing a hand on his arm.

"Nii-san, it's alright. I'll be ok. I'm always ok, remember?" she walked away before he could argue with her.

* * *

Sesshoumaru sat at the head of the table and watched his family as they ate, knowing that somehow they were not all as connected as they should be. He was not an expert with emotions but he knew that while the distance between he and his son was not far, he and Sari were not linked at all. He was very proud of her for being the woman she was. Sari was everything he expected a proper demon princess to be, but he did not know how to praise her. Seiya was satisfied by a few remarks during their training sessions that made him understand that Sesshoumaru cared. He and Sari did not have any bonding activities like that to let her open up to him more. In fact, she did not even open up to her mother. He had to assume that it just wasn't in her personality to be open with someone. After all, she was very much the spitting image of him as a pup in many ways.

"Seiya," he started, looking at his son. "How were your studies this afternoon?"

"My studies went well, Father. I am studying the customs of the other demon races in hopes that when I take over your position as the Lord of the Western Lands I may understand and work with them in new ways to keep the peace."

"Very good, son. I'll be interested to discuss that with you later. Sari," he turned to her and watched her gracefully put down her chop sticks and wipe her mouth. "How were your studies this afternoon?"

"They went well. We reviewed proper inu-youkai customs at gala events." He nodded to her, and caught Kagome urging him to keep going out of the corner of his eye.

"Good. In less than one month you shall hopefully find the perfect mate for you. If you study hard you shall have your pick of many strong, intelligent, reputable demon for a mate."

Sari nodded. "I will do my best not to embarrass the family. I hope that when the night comes you will help me find a suitable mate, Papa."

"Sari," Kagome started. "Any lord at the gala will be suitable. Wouldn't you like to choose for yourself?" Sari shook her head.

"I'm sure that Papa would make a much better choice than I would. I do not wish to choose the wrong mate."

Sesshoumaru watched Kagome's face sadden at their daughter's words. Seiya frowned at his sister as well and opened his mouth to speak when Jaken burst through the doors waiving a scroll.

"MiLord! Milord!I have news for you! Lord Kouga of the Southern lands sent this to us with one of his wolves. He and his son are requesting to join us within the week and to stay until after the gala!" Jaken handed the scroll to Sesshoumaru who took seconds to read it. He glared at Sari briefly before looking back at his lord. With Jaken's excitement, no one noticed Sari tensing her hands on the edge of the table.

"Send him a reply accepting his request. Kagome, pups, please excuse me. I must begin making arrangements for their arrival. Enjoy the rest of dinner. Seiya, come to the study when you are done," Sesshoumaru stated and left with Jaken on his heels.

Sari put her hands together on her lap. "I wish to be excused, Mama. I am finished and would like to get ready for bed."

"You may go," she said and watched her bow to both parties remaining in the room. As she reached the door Kagome spoke once more. "Do not over do it with the studying. You will be fine for the galla." Sari nodded and left.

"She tries so hard to please Father..." Seiya sighed and continued to eat. Kagome sighed too.

"Your sister cannot accept that your father is approving of her because she does not approve of herself by her own incredibly high standards. Until she finds herself to be good enough it does not matter what your father says or does to try and acknowledge her, she will not listen."

Seiya shook his head and stood up to pace. "I don't understand why, though! I have watched over her since she was born, Mother, and she has been this way since she was five years old. In 19 years Father still hasn't found a way to communicate with her to help her see that she is fine the way she is. Mother, when is Sari going to get to be Sari?" Seiya sat down, feeling defeated.

Kagome walked around the table to sit beside her son. "Seiya-kun, your father was raised mainly by his mother, who taught him to strictly adhere to the youkai laws which place females in a very low place of respect. He's trying to get better but it is hard for him to fully express himself to anyone, much less a woman. Do you know how long it took for your father to show what he felt for me? I almost ran off with one of the servants just to get away from here and his cold ways. The night before I left he came into my room and flew us off to a private spot to tell me that he loved me. I think it was because I tricked Jaken into telling him that I would be out of his hair soon," she said and they grinned at each other.

"I think I'll go find Father now, Mother." Seiya stood up, then grabbed his mother's hand to lay a kiss on her knuckles. "Thank you." And he left.

* * *

Sari sat on the window sill of her bedroom, staring down at the garden below in the courtyard. Her thoughts were not on the flowers or the pathways, though. They were on the arrival of Lord Kouga and his son, Yoru. Sari and Yoru had been playmates for years. Of course, Sari's idea of playing was very civilized and reserved, like her, while Yoru's was much more adventurous. What neither of them knew was that each time their parents brought them together to play they began to have affections for one another. By the time Sari turned 16, and Yoru turned 19, they had discovered their feelings for one another. Their romance began that spring, down by the river that crossed just behind the castle walls.

The problem was Sari's emotions made her feel weak, something she did not wish to appear as in front of her father. Due to her insecurity about weakness, Yoru agreed to keep their feelings and romance a secret. Sari was hoping that she could force herself to get over it and tell her father about those feelings so that she and Yoru could be together. However, a month ago, her father had decided it was time for her to find a mate, and began preparations for the gala, at which he expected her to find a mate.

Yoru, she knew, was not going to be pleased with this event. Although they had not mated, Yoru had already made his intentions clear. Sari belonged with him as his mate, no matter what Sesshoumaru wanted or expected.

With a sigh and heavy thoughts on her mind Sari left her room and made her way out to the garden walkway. Reflecting in the small pond beside it was the moon hanging heavily in the sky. Sari looked up at it, wondering how having such wonderful people in her life could make everything feel all tangled up inside.

"Why are you not in bed, child?" she resisted the urge to jump and turned to look at her father.

"My mind is moving far too fast for me to relax. I thought a walk in the garden would help to slow my thoughts. What brings you out here, Papa?"

Sesshoumaru wondered just how troubled his daughter must be if she was restless, but did not inquire more about it just yet.

"I, too, wished to clear my head before settling in for the night. Come," he said and began to walk. She followed, staying a few steps behind, as customs insisted.

For the first few minutes they were both silent, listening to the sounds of nature and their footsteps. Sesshoumaru felt the tension rolling off of Sari in waves and could no longer stop himself.

"What troubles you, Sari?" he heard her footsteps stop and turned to face her.

"I am fine, Papa. You needn't worry about me."

"If it is your studies for the gala, do not trouble yourself so much. You are a Lady of the Western Lands. You know the customs and follow them well. I know you shall find a mate with ease, one who is up to your standards," he said and saw her shake her head.

"Thank you, Papa, but I am no where near being a Lady. I do not have the control I need to become one," her face was blank, as it always was, but her eyes were full of anger for herself.

"What do you mean?"

"I cannot control certain impulses. I am afraid that should I find a mate he will be displeased with my lack of control."

"What impulses?" he watched her hands, which were clasped together in front of her, turn white at the knuckles.

"When I am angry I cannot always stop myself from listening to my inner beast. Even today my beast was annoyed with Jaken and his lesson and I threw him into a closet. If I cannot be in control then I will never find a worthy mate, Papa. I cannot disappoint you anymore."

Sesshoumaru was quiet for a long moment. While he was not concerned with what happened to Jaken, he did care that his daughter believed him to be disappointed in her. That was one thing he had never felt toward either of his children. Both were brilliant, obedient, and had their own unique personalities that he was proud of. If she thought he was disappointed in her, than that was his own failing as a father. But how did he express that to her?

"I believe I should turn in for the night. Goodnight, Papa," she said, owed, and began her way back to the castle.

"Sari," he said quietly. She paused, but did not turn. "I cannot claim to know why you feel that I am disappointed, but know this: If I were disappointed in you, I would inform you." Sari nodded and continued on her way.

Sesshoumaru stood in the garden for a long time after that, staring up at the moon and trying to figure his daughter out.

* * *

**A/N: Hey Hey~ Long time no post! Life just kind of got in the way, what with college and family crisis... But I'm going to try to keep up with this story. Comments are always encouraged! They keep our writer-ego inflated so we can write this stuff for you :) And feel free to give me suggestions of where you want my story to go ;)  
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